We love our men unconditionally and they trust us with their lives. That’s great, but we know the real deal, girlfriends. We look at Big Papi straight in the eyes with an innocent smile – and lie through our teeth. Only God, our Mamas and closest girlfriends know the scoop. Here are the top 10 lies we tell our men:

1. This Outfit Has Been In My Closet For Years
We love to shop, but we don’t want our men to know just how much money we spend as we enjoy our favorite sport. Shopping is to women as football is to men. We can’t live without it. Truth of the matter is we don’t want men to know about our shop-a-holic tendencies and just how much those Dolce & Gabbana jeans really cost.

2. I’ve Only Slept With Three Other Men
This is our favorite lie of all. We want our man to believe that we’ve only slept with our high school sweetheart, our big-man-on-campus college boyfriend and our ex-fiancé. Truth of the matter is that most of us have had more than a few romps in the hay, especially those who are still single.

3. This Is My Hair
We lie all the time when it comes to beauty enhancements. Truth of the matter is if your boyfriends goes with you to your family reunion and nobody else has long, luxurious blonde hair or hazel eyes, he just may get suspicious.

4. I’m Not Mad At You
We say we’re not mad, but we really are. Most of us wear our heart on our sleeve, but there are different levels of anger. If we give our man the silent treatment, he’s in big trouble. Truth of the matter is if our man thinks we’re mad, he’s probably right.

5. You Are My Soul Mate, You Complete Me
What the heck is a soul mate anyway? This is how we mark our territory and lead men to believe they’ve got it going on. (lol) We want our men to think we can’t live without them. Truth of the matter is all men are replaceable.

6. This Is the Greatest Gift I’ve Ever Received
Our men see us everyday and still don’t know what we like! We might walk around with our pinky toe sticking out our sock, but that doesn’t mean we want new socks for Valentine’s Day. Truth of the matter is we want our man to get a freakin’ clue.

7. I Love Cooking & Cleaning
Martha Stewart doesn’t have anything on us, but we don’t really want to spend our spare time cooking and cleaning. We’d rather hang out with our man and the kids. Truth of the matter is we’d love a housekeeper to come in and take care of things.

8. Not Looking For A Serious Relationship
This is our top secret protective barrier. We don’t want our feelings to get crushed, stomped or ripped apart by yet another man with bad intentions. Truth of the matter is we can’t even remember our last serious relationship.

9. You Are The Best In Bed
News Flash! We say this all the time to stroke our man’s fragile little ego. We learn it from watching TV. Truth of the matter is we fantasize about doing it with other men, sometimes an old flame, our son’s soccer coach … hell, a burglar just for a little added pleasure.

10. Baby, Your Snoring Doesn’t Bother Me
We love our man, but his snoring is annoying as all hell. In the middle of the night, we get him to turn over or send him to the bathroom for one of those nose strips. Truth of the matter is that we’d like to put a freakin’ pillow over his head and keep it there.