Okay, Girlfriends, it’s that time of the year again --- the Holidays. For the single gal the holidays can ring in a range of emotions. Some Merry and others, not so much. Sure, it’s a wonderful time, you get together with family, friends and the kiddies. So what makes the holidays extra stressful for singles? All that darn togetherness.

Love and family are everywhere. In the air, on TV, in the mall and up close and personal at the dinner table. Everyone seems paired up, then there’s you…the single gal. If you’re lucky, you have a single cousin or aunt nearby to share that scorching spotlight. Understandably, this prompts us to reflect on our single status. In the off chance it doesn’t, sit tight.

Someone at some point is going to ask THE QUESTIONS. You know it. I know it. You’ve even practiced your answers. Let’s take a look at some of our favorites inquiries. Are you seeing anyone? (If I was, don’t you think I would have lassoed him here?) When are you going to settle down? (When I can catch one in the bear trap I set up.) What are you waiting for? (This conversation to end.) Of course, you have your own responses but I find sarcasm helps keep me entertained.

If it’s not THE QUESTIONS, then you might be at the next level, where you just get, THE LOOKS. They don’t ask about your love life anymore. Their curious stares say it all. I don’t know about you, but when this happens I almost miss the darn questions. All of this is enough to send a single gal slicing into every baked good within arm’s reach. Before you gobble up all the goodies or mutilate the nearest mistletoe. Here are a few thoughts on how you can de-stress the high-pressure holidays.

Single Bells

There are some wonderful advantages to being a solo act and sometimes during the holiday haze it’s easy to forget the “single perks” enjoyed during the year. You make all the decisions, Ms. Independent. Where you go, what you do, when you buy and why. Oh, how your married friends envy that. You can pick up and go with limited notice. Cook when you feel like it, eat cereal when you don’t. Watch what you want on TV and tidy up your place when you get good and ready… no one will give you the crazy eye. It’s good to be King…er, Queen. What’s important to remember is that your “singleness” is just a part of you. You are a daughter, sister, godmother, friend, mother, career woman and you’re taking care of your business. Be proud of yourself.

Plan to Party

Host a gathering with some of your single friends. It’s great to have this event to look forward to. Whether it’s a brunch or just drinks, try to plan it in advance. A few hours with your gal pals does wonders. Even better, mix it up! Have everyone bring a single male friend. Trust me, the men will want to be there. They get “the looks” and “the questions”, too. Don’t pass on the glut of holiday parties. Many are attended by sassy singles just like you. Socialize…it’s good for the single’s soul.

Get Festive

Attend a holiday show, call or visit an old friend, decorate your abode, get some merry music, buy yourself a special treat or pamper yourself and get a massage. It’s important to balance your holiday obligations with a little “you” time. It gets you in a festive mood and keeps your holidays jolly.

Good Will

Pitch in and lend a hand at a charitable organization. Feed the homeless, assist the elderly or deliver gifts to needy children. It helps put things in perspective and underscores what the holidays are really about. Plus, it feels great when you do a good deed.

Give Thanks and Enjoy

Expect to feel somewhat melancholy but revel in the fact that although you are unattached you are not alone. You have family and friends and relatives around you. So many people do not. It’s an occasion to spend time with those you love and those that love you. Many that you rarely see. The holidays go by fast, instead of counting the minutes, let’s count our blessings and enjoy the moment. Be merry and be of good cheer and give thanks that we’re here.

Nina Corbett is the author of Standing in the Shadows of Love. She had produced and cast for several popular TV shows. Nina is a native New Yorker who currently lives in Los Angeles.